Remember when my computer broke down a few months ago? Well Saturday morning when I turned it on, I could hear my computer running like normal but my screen was black just saying “unsupported video signal”. After running it in safe mode I found that I could turn it on and use it in safe mode, but not regularly like I normally do. After two more restarts it just wouldn’t turn back on. The back green power light by my power cord was blinking again like last time– I’ve looked up different possibilities on my room mates laptop (so glad he has one) and I have different people saying it could be the power supply or it could be the motherboard. I don’t want to get a new power supply and have the same login issue so I’m going to save over the next two weeks to get a laptop. I’ve been meaning to buy the newest version of Flash anyway (has some awesome things I could use) so I might as well put that copy on a new computer instead of an old one that has temper tantrums.
What this means for my art!! The old me would have given up, not so now! As I continue on this journey of self-improvement I refuse to let any setbacks push me off my path! I made my own homemade light box almost a year ago and I have been putting it to good use over the past two days! I’m sure I’ll be able to scan in my work through other friend’s computers and I’ll just have to organize my drawings on someone’s computer that has flash ( a coworker of mine has a slightly older version of the full adobe suite and has graciously offered to help so I’m in luck). It might take longer but I am moving forward regardless! Here’s a snippet of an email that I was writing to a friend at like 5am after drawing on my light box, I think it sums up how I’ve been feeling nicely-
“Obviously the big hiccup was my animation work with Flash! I had this plan of finishing the 2 dudes promo this weekend but then the computer issue happened Saturday morning. What really amazed me though, is that the “old me” would have just been like “damn I guess I’ll have to wait awhile to finish it” and just rolled over with fate, but the “new” me was like ” Forget that, I don’t care I’m doing this anyway! If I can still draw I can still work so I’m still working on this.” So I looked over at my home-made light box (what animators originally used to create animations) and I told myself that I would use that and hand-draw the promo. It was incredibly uplifting and I really surprised myself with my level of dedication. I went out and bought a 500 pack of printer paper, a pack of mechanical pencils and steeled myself for animating. Saturday night I decided to change the promo to just doing an animated intro now, and adding it into a promo when/if I could get my computer to turn back on while I save up this week and next week for a new laptop. I want to do both because that will fully express the vision I’m going for, which I’ll get into in a second. I also changed the name to “Yo, Man Up”. It just made more sense, there are 8 dudes to choose from instead of just two, and it’s a game that is ironically trying to be as manly as possible.
But yea when I clicked on the light box earlier tonight/sunday night (it’s like 5am and I’ve been drawing, bear with me), it felt like my soul smiled, ya know? It’s like I was meant to do this, it didn’t even feel like work it just feels like the most natural thing in the world to me to do. It also has me thinking about doing key frames for all my animations with my light box, and then touching up/ doing in-betweens in Flash. But I love drawing so much, and ever since I started this journey with Farhan I feel energized, but I also feel like I have this reservoir of faith and confidence in myself and my art, my craft, that is just building and growing each and every day. It’s electrifying, like I literally have a miniature sun caged in my chest and I’m just spreading the warmth out to everyone around me. When I was talking to one of my coworkers/buddies Emilio about my journey and all the positive stuff it’s doing for me, he started talking about how he was feelin it and I was getting him pumped! After joking about how I should become a motivational speaker he seriously was interested in sharing with me his love for cooking mexican food for people and how he’s never fully gone through with it because of life’s distractions and because he didnt have someone there with him in the trenches, ya know? So I’m going to start helping him with that and during that three of our other coworkers (one of them a manager) was pulled into our conversation at separate times and it confirmed my belief that Farhan and I can really help alot of people! The two of us have decided to meet on Mondays each week and go over the past week, set new goals and chill and talk and grow.
It’s really 2 different mindsets when I think about how I used to treat animation, and how I treat it now. Before, it was erratic results-driven mindset, and now it’s focused, passion driven mindset. As an example, let’s say I wanted to draw a scene involving rain. Open-ended scene. The old me would have erratically given myself an inadequate time frame to do it in, made some huge results (ego)-driven scene in my mind ( a huge storm on an ocean with sea snakes hundreds of feet tall destroying an armada of ships) and stressed myself to the breaking point to do an impossible goal. I would have given myself far too little time and just tried to work around the misjudged time frame by barely sleeping and being hard on myself. Then I would have missed the goal and left the unfinished mess to collect dust on my computer. Now? I could just do a simple scene of a kid in a yellow raincoat and red galoshes jumping up and down once, splashing in a puddle and it would be perfect to me. Now, I give myself measurable goals, small at first and compound on them- focusing on letting my passion dictate how it evolves, my love for my craft and not my ego. It’s like night and day, I’m so glad I’ve finally woken up. ”
So yea. I’ll continue updating my progress on my room mates laptop and when I can scan these drawings in I’ll bombard this page with them. Until then, stay hungry, and keep learning!