First off- today is absolutely beautiful outside, I’m not going to spend much time inside today (also working outside on the patio tonight- lovin it).
The past week has seen me evolve into a different Steven. A couple of things finally clicked and I’m extremely happy about the way things turned out. I’ve been changing alot over the past year as I’ve been working on understanding what I really want to do in life and how to achieve those goals. A huge weight that I’ve been dealing with is off my shoulders now and although I was “pretty sure” I was going to do ok in the world, I feel it in my bones now, that I’m going to change the world. People have been awesome to me all my life but especially this past week, it feels like I have a whole different energy about me- I’ve always tried to cheer people up when I can. My best friend’s little sister Laura said a few years back that I was like a sun because nobody could be sad around me, that really stuck (just a glimpse of how awesome she is) and I definitely try to do that–now it feels like I don’t even have to try. It just kinda flows out of me now, it’s super tight.
I used to be a giant introvert in middle and high school. I kinda went to the exact opposite of the spectrum in college, but I’ve never lost the joy I get out of just being by myself sometimes. It’s really weird now sometimes because I have instances where I notice how much people actually take note of what I say, or come to me about stuff or are affected by me being around. It’s definitely a struggle for me at times during my work week near the end of Friday or Saturday night because as a server, I’m constantly interacting with people I’ve never met before. I’m interacting with people on a whole different level than I used to, really finding out about their world and trying to make their time when they’re with me as enjoyable as possible- so it’s really tough sometimes to always be that guy. Sometimes at like 10:30 on a friday night or 12 on a saturday night, knowing I have to be at work in less than 10 hours after being there for the past 10- knowing I still want to bring the same energy to my guests, being as supportive as I can to the people around me..it’s alot. Ontop of that I recently realized that my days off, when I just used to use them to goof off, I’m either trying to learn more, working on the revamp of my Dad’s site or working out or planning and researching for all my ideas. It’s alot, but it’s days like today that make it all worth it.
I decided last night if the weather wasn’t too bad that I was going to go to the National Gallery of Art (one of the perks of working semi-close in DC)- I love going there, some of the most amazing work I’ve seen is there. I plan to leave in an hour after I do some work for Dad and I’m just happy to be here. I’m happy to be able to share the light.
EDIT– Plus I just remembered I have less than a month before I get to see my Goddaughter again? I can’t imagine how this day can get better~